Don't Do This On Your Anniversary

In Love? Then Don’t Do This One Thing on Your Anniversary

The anniversary of your wedding, engagement, or relationship with your heartthrob; is a day of celebration. The celebration can take any form you so desire, in as much as it’s fun filled, romantic and electrifying – whatever that will keep the embers of love roaring, your heart can take the shots!

It’s a day of building more loving memories, solidifying the relationship, validating your partner’s feelings, and generally lifting up the relationship a notch or more higher. A day to remember, with a smile of contentment!

It’s a day of great bonding, with a dire warning. The day comes with an unspoken rule of engagement.
It is not a time to share anything that can be introduced with a ‘BUT’.
Whatever you do, keep off the ‘BUT’ clause. It’s a mood killer!

‘But’ is that imperfection that can perfectly destroy a day of great potentials. It is the log in your eyes, blinding you from the brightness of your beloved’s shining love for you, blazing from his/her eyes.

Actually, it isn’t just that one thing; it is one too many! To keep the glow of genuine love burning, certain kill joys that dampen the fiery flame of love, must be absolutely done away with. We at GetMeri are totally committed to making your relationship work. Your merriment is our ultimate goal. We are committed to making your relationship sweeter, spicier and lovelier.

Anything contrary to this goal, is a deviant that contradicts what we stand for. From our past dealings with our clients, we observed something quite alarming in the information divulged by way of instruction, in the course of engaging our services. In simple terms, each esteemed client is required to fill forms, from which we obtain vital information necessary to carry out their wishes.

While most desire to say cute, loving and utterly beautiful words to their partners; some include a list of certain things they found undesirable in such partners, with strict instructions for a change. Needless to say, they intended to buy a chocolate cake with loads of sour toppings that’s bound to leave a bitter taste. Our job here, is to counsel them about such misguided intentions, that contain all the fine elements of backfiring. We edit parts of the filled forms to pass across a message of love because that is what we preach.

In every sense of honesty, you don’t need an awe-inspiring moment to hurl accusations and express displeasure at your loved ones; you can separate a time purposely for that.

Before we talk about the don’t(s), why not let’s talk about what brought us together, the very thing that united you to your special one: Love?

Love is beautiful, romantic and affectionate. Love pleases when it is amply requited. Love can be spontaneous; it happens when and where it’s least expected. Love at first sight makes for a happy ending. Love builds up or it creeps up. It also happens due to certain attributes/qualities, or in spite of them. Chemistry or strong attraction or connection, also sparks the flame of love.

Love comes naturally, irrationally or intentionally.

Now that the euphoria of your being blissfully in love is over; and the reality of your differences grates mercilessly on your overly sensitive or battered nerves; you’re welcome to the real world of experiencing love in another dimension.
Love – as a commitment. It’s deliberate, it takes a lot of hard work, but ultimately, it’s rewarding.

Real love is worth fighting for; even if you have to fight your own personal demons; righteous indignation, justified anger and brimming resentments. True love is worth keeping: just uproot and trash the weeds of disagreement and the obdurate roots of bitterness.

Wow! It’s your anniversary! You have great plans already: revive the good old times with lots of jokes, laughter, loving, caring, and rekindling the passion. The general mood would be receptive and relaxing Then, like a bolt of lightning, the thought came, “what better time than this perfect moment to bring up this nasty business?”. Yep, it just might be the right time to bring up that matter….again.

Hey, now, hold it right there! That sensitive matter? Nothing but a spoilsport! It has the fine making of an explosive boomerang, capable of achieving the opposite of what you intended.

Sure, you have everything under control, up to the last details. The poems, romantic notes/songs, breakfast in bed, lunch/dinner for two, exotic wine and breathtaking gifts. Everything that will make your anniversary perfect, then, voila: the bombshell! Like a house of card, things start falling apart, spiralling out of control, and you are flummoxed as to what went wrong. Your state of bewilderment is the anticlimax you inadvertently brought on!

Check this out! After a few minutes of expressing your eternal love, and the object of your love already taken by surprise by the surprise medium you used(getmeri), is basking in the euphoria of your love, floating in the air dreamily because of the love you just professed afresh and everything is just so perfect… Suddenly, you came up with this almighty ‘But’, that crashes in in the cocoon of the bliss and here comes the harsh reality of a hint of heartbreak, lurking and poised to strike a deadly blow….with ‘But’.

But…. You talk too much. Can’t you just keep your trap shut?

But….. You are a terrible cook. I’m sick and tired of your burnt, bland and unpresentable offerings.

But…..You are too stingy. Learn to give. Generosity won’t kill you.

But….You are so lazy, clingy and useless. Get a life, please!

But….You are too disorganised and untidy. It grates on my nerves!

I’m certain there are countless more earth shattering more esteem bursting, ego deflating,energy depleting and love draining ‘buts’ up your sleeve.

Let’s face it: no one is perfect, and there’s no perfect marriage or relationship anywhere. However, just because you love your partner; and he/she is worthy of that love, rather than bringing in the bottled up resentments, unresolved financial matters, barely restrained anger, and other negative vibes, to the table of love… choose love without ulterior motive or sour toppings, as the icing. Love in its purest form: devoid of complications, with ‘buts’ sent on a leave of indefinite absence.

For the sake of love, give your veiled, fault finding mission a break! No doubt it has found enough verbal and nonverbal; subtle or direct onslaught, regular or occasional expressions in the past, with no appreciable change. It’s your anniversary! Give it a break!

You are a lover, not an adversary. In honour of the celebration of your anniversary, bury the hatchet and give love a chance to rule. You aren’t on a covert destructive mission, are you?

Drop that blame game, like a hot cake! Why wipe away the smashing smile off your Darling’s face and put him/her on the defensive? Being on the defensive mode activates “let’s see who can hurt the most” ego. Why go all out to please, only to end with a shouting match or silent retreat? Why bother to give a free rein to the hurtful words hurled at your beloved, when you can ride the wave of your anniversary’s bliss?

Your partner can be infuriating and utterly annoying. Oh, sure! Tell you what? So are you! A shocker? No one is a saint! You aren’t on a war path; abort mission! Your partner has countless faults; he/she knows this only too well. Any change? Not a single one! Rather, things either get worse or the status quo is defiantly maintained. And love… dies, bits by bits.

Love wins, when it is consistently expressed without any ulterior motive. Love brings about desired changes, when it starts from you. Love is selfless when it’s accepting of the other’s strength, quirks and weaknesses. It usually bring a desired change without even trying. There’s really a fine line between love and hatred. Nurture your love with genuine acceptance and patience.

It’s your anniversary, a day to celebrate your love; sheath your sword already! Don’t bring your disagreements to the table of joy, in whatever guise. Whatever do you mean to achieve? Granted, you’ve been grievously offended; must you reciprocate the gesture, to what end? If you return the favour, prepare to kiss your prize relationship goodbye… sooner or later. No one wins or loses a war without having casualties on either sides.

Just before you vent your anger, or raise your beloved’s hackles; take a deep breath and pause to ask yourself if you find any pleasure in making your beloved miserable. If not, give love a chance to reign without restriction. That explosive list of wrongdoings? Those desired changes? The long faces? Let it go…with the winds.

Search your heart. Dig deep, go beyond your ‘spats’ and wade through the murky water of anger. You’ll find nothing but love in its depth, struggling to find expression. Go ahead, feel the joy again. Spoil your beloved passionately; with affectionate words, affirmation, gifts, acts of service, wine and dine. Look deeply into each other’s eyes and rekindle the passion. Have an amazing time; love is awesome!

Sometimes, the change you so required comes effortlessly without a battle, on the wings of love… without rancour.

Have loads of fun! Lots of love from getmeri.

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